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Can We Really Control a Child’s Behavior?

In many cases people like to think that they have control over others. This happens a lot at prisons, armed service branches, and even at school. Teachers and school staff would like to think that they completely control the actions and behaviors of the children. However, the truth is that we do not. There are many ways that others can inflict punishment for those who do not carry out a desired behavior. However, for those few who can tolerate pain, punishment, and humiliation, there is really little that can be done. One is only in control over him or herself. … Continue reading →

Extreme Behavior Shaping

In my last blog, I talked about a behavior shaping technique called the 30-Second Technique as described by Dr. Jerry Day. In most cases, your child will comply by the time the sixth item has been taken away. Most will comply even earlier. However, just in case this method does not work you will have to continue removing items until you “clean the child out and empty the room.” Day says that in forty years of practice he knows of only two cases where parents had to go to this extreme. After you remove all of the child’s toys and … Continue reading →

Behavior Shaping

Getting our kids to comply with even simple requests can sometimes be a daily struggle. Fortunately there are many techniques available to help parents in their struggles. One such technique is a behavior shaping method known as the 30-Second Technique described by Dr. Jerry Day. It’s a twist on the “count to three” method that many parents use, but as Day points out, some parents don’t think ahead to what they will do once they reach three. Here’s a brief highlight of how the method works. (1) Take an inventory of items in your child’s room and rank them from … Continue reading →

9 Steps To Stop Bad Behavior

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Can you change your child’s behavior in just nine simple steps? Michele Borba, Ed.D, author of, 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know, thinks so. Here’s what she suggests: (1) Set Rules- Think about what rules you want to institute, remembering to let go of little annoyances and picking your battles. Then write down your rules and explain in clear language what you expect from your kids. As your kids age, you will probably have to adjust some of the rules. (2) Work on eliminating one bad behavior at a time- Although your kids may have several behaviors that are driving … Continue reading →

Reward and Punishment

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One tough concept in teaching is reward and punishment. Teachers use reward and punishment every day to encourage good behavior and good grades. Rewards often include prizes, candy, extra play time, and positive comments. Punishments may include calling parents, reprimand by words, losing playtime, time out, or going to the principal’s office. Determining when to use reward and when to use punishment can be a little tricky. In some cases students need to be rewarded for good deeds and in other cases they need to be punished for wrong doing. I feel that in most cases punishment seems to be … Continue reading →

There is Always a Reason

Life with children can sometimes seem random and chaotic. Our children’s behavior can seem to come completely “out of the blue” and we may be so absorbed in other trials and daily duties that we can’t or don’t take the time to get down to the “why” of things. It might be helpful to remember that even with small children, there’s always a reason why they do and say the things they do… I could never get on board with the “let them cry it out” school of thought, or even the “ignore them, it’s just a phase” school of … Continue reading →

Teaching Teenagers to Live Moral Lives

Over the last 40 years society’s morals have been decreasing. Drug and alcohol abuse, violence, and sexual promiscuity have been increasing. There are three key family characteristics that contribute to a teen’s choice to live a moral life: family connectedness, parental regulation, and freedom to express opinions. Family Connectedness Delinquent teens are less likely to come from families where parents show love and appreciation. Where the teenagers feel a connection and a belonging with the family unit. So how can parents foster family connectedness? · Spend one on one time. Go to an athletic event, get ice cream, or take … Continue reading →